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"Every baby needs a lap." (Henry Robin) "Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Fathers are biological necessities, but social accidents." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." (Joan Rivers) "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") "I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's why I became an actor." (Sir Anthony Hopkins) "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) "Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti)
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